I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
