therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
