what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
