What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
