Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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