I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
