Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
