We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
