so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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