This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
