Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
