why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
