How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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