She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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