do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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