Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
