So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
