Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
