Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I didn't shave. On purpose
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
