He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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