So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
