I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
