Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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