She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
