used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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