no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
