and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
