WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
