and you said cock pushups were impossible
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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