The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
