I feel great
I just peed on a car
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
