So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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