Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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