Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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