i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She announced her abortion via fbk
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
