I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
