tell your sister to shave her snatch
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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