He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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