I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
