i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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