we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
