Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
This toilet bowl is my home.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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