Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
