:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
