If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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