Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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