I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
