Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
