Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
