How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Randomize
